Stereotypes of FFnet
by Malevolent Darkness
Summary: This is a parody of the stereotypical stories on FF.Net, each chapter dedicated to spoofing the things you ALWAYS see in typical pairings. We have a ROMY, KURTTY, RIETRO, LANCITTY, SCOGUE, KIETRO, ROVAN, KIOTR, JOTT, and TONDA! Mary Sue chapter up!
1. The Typical Romy

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: Evolution and I probably never will...*sniffle* ...Basically, this is a little parody/humor of the stereotypical stories on ff.net... each chapter will be a spoofing about a different kind of typical thing you see in different focus (for example, a Rietro, Kietro, Romy, Mary Sue, etceteras). Keep in mind, this is a parody/humor, and I know I'm supposed to be working on my other story, but... this just came to me.   
  
       Stereotypes of FF.net  
  
       Chapter 1- The Typical Romy  
  
As with every Romy, it begins with Rogue wallowing in her self-pity, self-loathing, angst, and other big words.  
  
Rogue (angstily): I'm angst-filled. I can't touch. I'm the adopted daughter of my worst enemy, who betrayed me, then I killed her, then Kurt got mad at me because she's actually his biological mother, because he was adopted too. I'm a Goth, and therefore not accepted in society. Grr.  
  
Kitty comforts her, because in all Romys, Kitty is Rogues best friend, as hinted in the series.  
  
Kitty (perkily): I like, like you for like, no apparent like, reason, like, and my like, valley girl accent is like, so, like, annoying, like.   
  
Rogue (angstily): Though our personalities clash, I like you more than anyone else. Grr. I'm still angsty though.  
  
They hug.  
  
Jean (bitchily): I'm a perfect preppy evil bitch, and even though I've never done or said anything mean to you, we are arch nemesis.'   
  
Jean is tortured viciously and killed.  
  
In some strange way that doesn't make sense, Rogue encounters Gambit, a sexy Cajun.  
  
Rogue (sadly): Don't love me because I'm angst-filled. I could never sexually please you. I don't care how alone I feel.  
  
Remy (persistently): Though I barely know you, I love you anyway. Even though I'm womanizing pervert, and base my life among what you can't provide, we belong together.  
  
Then, they spend the rest of their lives kissing through material.  
  
                                                          ~OR~  
  
Rogue, by some mad up and _way_ too thought through idea, usually by the assistance of Remy, can touch.  
  
Rogue (giddily): YAY! I can touch!  
  
Remy (giddily): YAY! She can touch!  
  
Then, as they make out, something having nothing to do with the story tears them apart.  
  
Rogue (despairingly): NO! My life is pointless! I'm angsty again.  
  
Remy (pissed): Oh no! The Thieves Guild has somehow caused my relationship to fail!  
  
After many tragic things and near death experiences, they are together again.  
  
Both (happily): YAY!   
  
They then solve all of each other's family problems.  
  
Mystique (nicely): Yay! I'm alive again! I don't want to ruin your now-perfect life, so I'm sorry I was a crappy mom.  
  
Rogue (forgivingly): It's okay!  
  
Mystique and Rogue hug.  
  
Kurt and Mystique hug.   
  
Kurt (forgivingly): I forgive you for killing my mom, because she's alive again!  
  
Rogue and Kurt hug.  
  
Jean Luc (Cajuny): Remy, I'm sorry I used you for your powers in the same exact way Mystique did to Rogue.  
  
Remy (Cajuny): It's okay, Dad.  
  
Remy and his Dad hug.  
  
Rogue and Remy hug.  
  
Rogue: Our lives our perfect now!  
  
Remy: Yes! And I have a sexy accent!  
  
Kitty: I'm, like, so, like, happy for you, like Rogue!  
  
Rogue and Kitty hug.  
  
Reader: This was annoying.  
  
Dragonfire99: I know. Kitty? Rogue? You can stop hugging now.  
  
Rogue (blushing): Oh, uh, sorry.  
  
Kitty (trying to escape uncomortable situation): Uh, I, like, think Lance is like, calling!  
  
Remy (charmingly): I love you.  
  
Rogue (happily): I love you.  
  
They kiss passionately.                                   
  
                           ~And they (Rogue and Remy) live happily ever after~  
  
       Don't you just love parodies? Please review! No offense to Kitty fans, I like Kitty, I just can't believe they gave her that irritating valley girl accent.  
  
                                                                    ~Dragonfire99~ 


	2. The Typical Kurtty

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Anyway... I really have no right to write a Kurtty spoof, considering I've only skimmed through a few...but I get the basic crap I need to make fun of it.  
  
Stereotypes of FF.net  
  
Chapter 2- The typical Kurtty  
  
As with every Kurtty, it begins with Kitty paying unusual attention to Kurt for some reason.  
  
Kitty: I like, don't like, notice Kurt, like!  
  
Kurt fawns over her sadly.  
  
Kurt (bad German accent): I'm sad, because I'm strange looking.  
  
For some reason, Kitty likes him back, even though he's strange looking. (a/n: I would say ugly but I don't want to offend people).  
  
Kitty: I'm like, out of character, but my like, irritating accent is like, ever-present!  
  
For no reason, Kitty and Kurt suddenly have a ton of fluff.  
  
They make out.  
  
A lot.  
  
Reader: Okay...  
  
And they live happily ever after.  
  
Reader: That was short.  
  
Dragonfire99: Just like all Kurttys!  
  
Reader: Oh yea!   
  
Reader: Okay...but now I'm bored.  
  
Dragonfire99: You have nothing better to do?  
  
Reader: No.  
  
Dragonfire99: Well, neither do I.   
  
Therefore...it's shout-out time!  
  
Lone Lunar Wolf: Yes, the hugging was meant to be disturbing, and I hope everyone caught my little Kitty/Rogue joke. *cough*  
  
Ace of Spades: Oh, but I do know how much it sucks to read a story with the same plot line, that's what inspired me to write this parody! I'm a Romy fan as well, I'm currently even writing a serious Romy. I have read Giddy and it's sequel, and yes, it is definitely my favorite! The characters aren't always off, but usually a little off. I hate to admit it, but I too love those happily ever after stories, no matter how cliche. Yes, we will never give up on our dear Romys, never.  
  
Boomkat: Aw, I feel special now. All my reviewers see the cliches, that's what's so fun!  
  
Cheesy Monkey: O_o. I just visualized Kitty saying that, and it disturbed me. Yeah, I like your idea of Reader. *hugs Reader* Reader: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU???   
  
Here's your Kurtty! And speaking of cheers, my school's cheerleading squad is out to get me...seriously, I've heard that they're planning on mugging me sometime. Me and my big mouth!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: I am ashamed as well, as my own Romy was the basis for my writing. Read it some time! (Look at me, advertising my stories in each other...)  
  
Todd Fan: Hey! Don't put down the Romys! No matter how much the plotline sucketh, I still love it! But yes, do shudder, for Romys shall envelope the site!!!  
  
Nocturne: The hilarity was the point! *gasp* I MADE A POINT! Yes, sad isn't it? The truth of reality. Here's your Kurtty!  
  
The Rogue Witch: Lol, and yes, SHE CAN NEVER BE ANGSTY ENOUGH!!! *twitching* To quote Possessed Roguey: "Burn the Scogue fans!" *Growl*  
  
ChaosTheory89: Oops, I didn't remember that. But still, how could they be friends? Well, I have two cheerleader friends. *ducks rotten fruit assortments* But...bah! Yes, stereotyping is delicious, which is why the cheerleading squad is after me! (Stereotyping them is so easy and tempting...)  
  
CherryShadowZ: I know, isn't it scary?   
  
Linzer-b: I've never seen any other X-Men, so Evolution is my first impression, so I think Evo Rogue is cool.   
  
Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: Good! You seem like a very nice multiple personalitied person. ^_^  
  
Fire-arrow7: Wow, once again you are so original. ^_~  
  
Possesed Roguey: Lol *hugs* I love you too. Amazing how you can be rude and complimentary at the same time. *coughfeelingmencough*  
  
The Rabid English Major: Damn! I didn't see that episode. I missed a lot, and it being on hiatus isn't helping. Well, I'll just take your word for it.  
  
Well, that's it... FOR NOW!!! *cackle* I'm going to go watch my favorite movie of all time. Three Days. I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!!!!  
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


	3. The Typical Rietro

Disclaimer: Guess. What? FINE! I don't own X-Men: Evolution. Blah. There. Are you fricking happy now?  
  
Stereotypes of FF.net  
  
  
  
Chapter 3- The Typical Rietro  
  
There are two main types of Rietros I have seen; here is the first.  
  
Rietro Type A  
  
This type begins with Rogue suddenly bumping into Pietro randomly.   
  
Rogue: I hate you. Your cocky attitude and arrogance pisses me off greatly.  
  
Pietro: (all run together and impossible to read)  
  
Rogue: ...?  
  
Pietro: I love you! You're so beautiful and talented. And guess what? I'm the only one who can touch you! I'm out of character!  
  
Rogue: *gasp* Then we must be meant for each other.   
  
Pietro: Of course! Now we must have pet names. You are Roguey.  
  
Rogue: And you are Quicky. Though these names are unoriginal and stupid, they are the best the writer can come up with.  
  
Pietro: I hope my father accepts this.  
  
Dragonfire99: Why does he call his dad 'father?' I mean, really, have you ever heard anyone call their dad 'father?' Really.  
  
Reader: Tell me about it.  
  
Dragonfire99: Anyway...  
  
Rogue: Likewise, I hope the everyone at the institute accepts this.   
  
They frolic off together and share warm romantic moments, all the time out of character.  
  
Magneto (thunderously): Son! What are you doing with that girl?  
  
Pietro: *gasp* Father!   
  
Dragonfire99: See, there he goes again.  
  
Magneto: She is the enemy!  
  
Pietro: But...I love her!  
  
Magneto (pleasantly): Okay!   
  
Magneto pats him on the shoulder, and they frolic to the institute.  
  
Professor Xavier: I do not trust you. Therefore, instead of using the easy and obvious option of reading your mind, I'll have faith in you, because I want to see you in the X-Men uniform. ^_~  
  
Dragonfire99: Has anyone else wondered why that older man has these teenagers wearing form fitting nylon uniforms? Anyone?  
  
Reader: No, but now that you've said it, I'm deeply disturbed.  
  
Students: We don't like him.  
  
Rogue: But he's changed!  
  
Students: 'Kay!  
  
Rogue and Pietro hug.   
  
The live happily ever after.  
  
  
  
~The End~  
  
Rietro Type B  
  
This type begins with Pietro and Rogue meeting up. Somehow, for no reason, even though they barely know each other, and in the cartoon have never even had direct dialogue, they have a deep, loving bond.  
  
Rogue: I miss you. And I'm out of character.  
  
Pietro: I miss you too. Come back to the Brotherhood. I'm also out of character.  
  
Rogue: Since I've conveniently had problems with the students, teachers, and overall situation at the mansion recently, I'll live with you with no prior plans.  
  
Rogue and Pietro then live together and live happily ever after.  
  
Dragonfire99: I hate Rietros. So very much.  
  
Reader: Hey! I like them!  
  
Dragonfire99: *Quickly changes attitude* Just kidding! I love Rietros! Review if you like X-Men: Evolution!  
  
~The End~  
  
Shout out time again, because I'm bored!  
  
The RP: Hey, I'm insane too! *Hugs you.* I like making fun of cheerleaders, which is why my school's squad is after me. ^_^  
  
Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: O_o. I am scared now.  
  
Meghan (anonymous): My friends would laugh uncontrollably if they saw your name...no offense, it's just the popular rich girl at our school is Megan, and...well, whatever, if you want a complete description of how annoying she is, IM me. I love complaining about her.  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: *Squeal* I feel loved!  
  
Possesed Roguey: You do realize that possessed is spelled wrong in your pen name right? Besides, you have more in common with that blonde Californian don't you! *Points at you.* She's a ditzy blonde! She's not one of our kind!  
  
Cheesy Monkey: *Gasp* Kickass is my favorite word! I watch far too much South Park! And you probably don't care, but I just accidentally broke my portable CD player and had to get a new one! And it plays the radio!  
  
ChaosTheory89: Here's your Rietro! Damn those squads! Yes! My advertising is working! Make sure you review!  
  
The Rogue Witch: Amaze! Huzzah! Forward! Special.  
  
CherryShadowZ: Mwahahahaha...Let us cackle together! *Evil cackling.*  
  
A.M.bookworm247: Wow, you make me feel smart! I'm brilliant (now look what you've done. I can't get my head through the door).   
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


	4. The Typical Lancitty

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution, nor the crappy cliches in the plots of the stories. I want that about as much as the show "Rich Girls." Yea right. I would rather chew my arm off and slap myself with it. Several times. Damn rich girls...  
  
Stereotypes of FF.net  
  
Chapter 4- The Typical Lancitty  
  
A Lancitty begins with Kitty and Lance secretly dating and calling each other and other mushy crap like that. Even though in the series, everyone knows they date, somehow in these fictions, their relationship is still a secret, even though the professor or Jean could easily read her mind, but no, that could _never_ happen. Also, Kitty somehow loses her accent, and Lance is a caring softy.  
  
Kitty: I hope no one finds out about us dating! I'm a little out of character.  
  
Lance: I'm so freakin out of character it makes Readers sick! I shall call you annoying weird nicknames no one would ever use in real life! Like Kit-Kat, Kitty-cat, Kit, and other stupid things!  
  
The mean old Brotherhood makes fun of poor Lance for being a good boyfriend.  
  
Pietro: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahayou'reweak!  
  
Todd: Yo, you're pathetic yo. I like to say yo, yo. Yo, I'm Evo's perception of a wanksta yo. Yo, where's Wanda yo?  
  
Fred: Food. Mmm. I have no other thoughts. I have no feelings, except when I make fun of Lance.  
  
Wanda: I'm not here because I would make Kitty look bad, and I would probably be unable to stand her, or perhaps I would be her best friend, since obviously she's a goth-girl lover.   
  
Dragonfire99: Not 'goth-girl lover' as in the dirty way _you're_ thinking, Reader.  
  
Reader: ...No comment.  
  
Tabitha: I may or may not randomly appear.  
  
After many good times, warm romantic moments, and other crap like that, Lance eventually uses his cheesy line, which I shall exploit for reviews as you think the dirty double meaning!  
  
Lance: I'm gonna rock your world!  
  
Kitty (offended): How dare you! *Slaps him.*  
  
Lance (seriously not getting it): What?  
  
Kitty (sighing): Never mind. Just look grungy and forlorn.  
  
As Lance drops Kitty off at the mansion, in that giant, loud jeep, though a stealthy vehicle, they are found out. Oh no.  
  
Random person who finds out about the relationship, usually Logan: *Gasp.* Ooh, I'm telling! *Runs off to tell the professor.*  
  
Lance (pathetically): No, Kitty, my love!  
  
Kitty is then taken into the mansion and forced to stop seeing Lance. Boo fricken hoo.  
  
Kitty: I'm now uncharacteristically angsty.  
  
Rogue: Ah shall console ya,' since Ah'm suddenly a compassionate person. Mah southern accent is now freakishly thick, and a bitch t' read.  
  
But of course, this is a Lancitty, and must have a good ending. So Lance uses his exquisite communication skills.  
  
Lance: Erm...  
  
Professor: Great!  
  
They then get married in a church, even though Kitty has clearly be portrayed as Jewish, and the wedding is stiff and formal, not suiting Lance at all.  
  
Suddenly, Kurt burst through the door, professing his love for Kitty just after the priest (not rabbi, as it should be) says the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part.  
  
Kurt: I love you! Screw him!  
  
Kitty: Sorry.  
  
Kurt: God damn it.  
  
Kitty and Lance kiss, run off together, and live happily ever after.  
  
Dragonfire99: Ugh, this left a bad taste in my mouth.  
  
Reader: Me too, after I BARFED! Turn it off!  
  
Dragonfire99: I despise Lancittys. I hope I've made that clear.  
  
The End  
  
Shout outs! It's becoming a daily thing now.  
  
SSJ Tokya: Sorry, I'm guessing you like these, but apparently it was a high demand for parody. Try to laugh with us.  
  
Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: Aw, thank you. Damn those squads!  
  
Flame31: I must admit that a pen name include the word 'flame' was intimidating to see in my review box, but I was relived to see that it wasn't a flame. Ew, speaking of Justified, I HATE Justin Timberlake!   
  
Dark Ballerina: Disturbing, isn't it? Yea, Kiotrs are funny, she's like the smallest girl in Evo, and he's the biggest guy. I think X-Men is trying to make a point or something. Ha, like they're getting it through my thick skull.  
  
Kate-robot-of-darkness: Heh, here's your Lancitty. Damn Rietros. Make no damn sense.  
  
Storm-Pietro: Yes, I've seen you review a lot of things, and I've seen your pairings. Very weird. You scare me. More than Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral. *Gulp.* Here's your Lancitty...  
  
Lyranfan: Yikes! Don't tell Posessed Roguey you like Scogues! She wants to burn the Scogue fans! I might...  
  
Rogue14: I'm going, I'm going!  
  
CherryShadowZ: Here's your Lancitty!  
  
There! Well, some of you didn't get shout outs, because your too lazy to review before I update the next chapter! You know who you are. *Threateningly shakes fist.* And those of you who like to review the first chapter, then I never see you again! Well! I'm calling you out! Boomkat, todd fan, nocturne, linzer-b, Krall, and The Rabid English Major, you all have this chapter to redeem yourself! Otherwise...you don't get a cookie! Especially you, nocturne, I gave you a Kurtty! *Shaking fist again.*  
  
See what happens when you don't review? You make the author throw a hissy fit and tell you off!  
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


	5. The Typical Scogue

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or any related characters. My question is, why aren't these so called 'related characters' getting sued? Maybe I'm not writing a parody for X-Men: Evolution. Maybe I'm writing a parody for some of those 'related characters.' Eh. Damn disclaimers.  
  
Stereotypes of FF.net  
  
Chapter 5- The Typical Scogue  
  
As with every Scogue, it takes place after 'Turn of the Rogue,' because there's no other way they could possibly get together in the current episodes. It begins with extreme Jean bashing.   
  
Jean: AHH! I'M BEING BASHED! HELP ME! SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS! AHH! I WANT TO DIE! KILL ME NOW! HAVE MERCY!  
  
Dragonfire99: Yes, well, anyway, THEN, Scott rethinks his relationship with Jean, because she is now suddenly the devil.  
  
Jean: Want to go to the movies?  
  
Scott: STOP CONTROLLING ME! MAN! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!  
  
Jean: Are you okay?  
  
Scott: STOP NAGGING ME! YOU'RE LIKE A WATCHDOG!  
  
  
  
At the same time, Rogue is suddenly a supermodel to him, though he never seemed to notice her before as anything more than a friend.  
  
Scott: *Gasp.* Rogue is so beautiful. *Gasp.* Am I falling in love with her?  
  
And surprise surprise, he is! Didn't see that coming, did you?  
  
Reader: Please...make it stop...I beg of you...  
  
Rogue, having a crush on Scott since they met of course, now _somehow_ finds out he is madly in love with her.  
  
Reader: AHH! NOTHING MAKES SENSE! THEY CAN'T INSTANTLY FALL IN LOVE! AHH!  
  
Dragonfire99: Of course they can, just like instant pudding! Mushy, sloppy, and colorless!  
  
Reader: That's a Scogue all right.  
  
Scott and Rogue at the same time: I think I love you! *Gasp.*  
  
Scott: Really?  
  
Rogue: No.  
  
*Author of the Scogue nudges her.*  
  
Rogue: What? Damn it. *Clears throat.* Yes (damn, I wanted that sexy Cajun!).  
  
Scott: Yay! I'm on rebound!  
  
They hug.  
  
Jean then continues to be portrayed as Satan in female form.  
  
Jean: You two are dating now? Great!  
  
Rogue: *Cries in a very out of character way.*  
  
Scott: YOU JEALOUS WHORE!  
  
Stan from South Park: Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.  
  
Rogue: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!? *Kicks Stan.*  
  
ANYway, later, it finally hits them that Rogue can't touch!  
  
Rogue: Whatever shall we do?  
  
Scott: It doesn't matter, because I'm a chaste little choir boy type.   
  
Rogue: Um...yay?  
  
They then get married several years later. Of course, by this time, Hank has found a way for them to touch.  
  
Hank: Damn I'm smart.  
  
Little machine that lets Rogue touch: I give the story a happy ending!  
  
Scott: But I'm still a chaste little choir boy type virgin!  
  
Rogue: I'm screwed. I also had no angst in the entire story!  
  
Dragonfire99: Ten bucks says she hires a Cajun male prostitute.   
  
Reader: Is this over yet?  
  
Dragonfire99: Yes. Lucky you.  
  
The End  
  
Now, the alternate plot!  
  
Reader: NOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Alternatives include Jean moving away for a few years, during which time the grow an unbreakable bond, Jean dumping Scott for Duncan, or Scott and Rogue having a secret affair behind Jean's back.  
  
Reader: ...  
  
Dragonfire99: Reader?  
  
Reader: ...  
  
Dragonfire99: Reader? Reader!?! READER!!! LIVE, DAMN IT! CLEAR!  
  
Little zap thingy that brings people back to life: BZZZZT! BZZZZT! BZZZZZZZZT!  
  
Reader: ...What???  
  
Dragonfire99: *Phew.*  
  
Please read and review!  
  
Okay, now I'm pissed, and I got something to say.  
  
I recently checked my review box (as always). And I have a group response for chapter one.  
  
SSJ Tokya/Meghan/The Rabid English Major/ChaosTheory89/Andi: About the roommate thing. While they were roommates in the first and second season, but in 'Ghost of a Chance' it showed Kitty sharing a room with Danielle. After the mansion was blown up in 'Day of Recovery,' it had to be rebuilt, so they most likely added more rooms, or Rogue could've moved into Evan's old room. So there. I've been doing my homework. They aren't roommates anymore. About the friends thing? Fine. I changed it. I thank you five for being able to say it in a nice way. Some people, like Slipper, can't seem to manage that.   
  
Slipper: I can't believe you review my parody, calling it a terrible rip off and complain about one line, and don't even have the audacity to give a signed review. Also, in recent episodes, the mansion's rebuilt (most likely with more rooms), Evan is gone, leaving more space, and in 'Ghost of a Chance' Rogue isn't there. So, you're kind of wrong...it's IN THE CURRENT EPISODES. GEEZ!! Get your facts straight with the times. Watch the new episodes...sweetie.  
  
  
  
Also, my response looks even meaner if you read her review, so please do. I want a public stoning here.  
  
Readers: O_o Damn.  
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


	6. The Typical Kietro

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or any related characters. I wish I did. I certainly wish I didn't own this Romy, Kurtty, Rietro, Lancitty, Scogue, and Kietro, but I do. Whoa, I just realized, so far, all these common pairings include only Rogue and Kitty. O_o Clearly, they must be the favorite girls.  
  
Stereotypes of FF.Net  
  
Chapter 6- The Typical Kietro  
  
As with every Kietro, it begins with Kitty and Pietro meeting up in a school hallway.  
  
Pietro: Ha! I'm such a player. I'm superior to you. I will call you by your last name! That makes me special!  
  
Kitty: You're an asshole.  
  
But, being a Kietro, Kitty starts out bipolar when she gets home.  
  
Kitty (angrily): I hate him. *Suddenly wistful.* But he's so perfect in every way...*Going back to hating again.* Grr. I cannot be falling for him!  
  
Dragonfire99: Of course not.  
  
Reader: AHH! IT'S TOO GENERIC! I CAN'T TAKE IT! *Tries to jump of cliff.*  
  
Dragonfire99: *Saves you.* No! I need you alive to review.  
  
Reader: Gee thanks.  
  
Meanwhile, at the *exact* *same* *moment...*  
  
Pietro: Though I was being rude to her a moment ago, I think I *might* have feelings for her. I'm drawn to her by some deep bond that makes no sense! This plot is so generic, it could fit any couple in Evo!  
  
Reader: *Cringe.*  
  
Kitty (thoughtfully): But what about Lance? Who shall I choose?   
  
Dragonfire99 (using extreme sarcasm): Hmm, let's think now. If the summary said Kietro pairing, who will Kitty choose? *Mumbling about how obvious it is.*  
  
Lance: In all Kietros, I'm a bad/abusive/cheating/unattractive EX-boyfriend!  
  
Kitty: Grr! Angst!  
  
Pietro: I am such a player.  
  
Now, the generic plotline kicks in!  
  
Kitty: No! How could this happen? I'm somehow randomly forced to spend time with Pietro!  
  
Pietro: Oh well, I'm still a player. Oh yea.  
  
Reader: AHH! NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE A TEENAGER WITH WHITE HAIR! *Twitch.*  
  
Dragonfire99: Can anyone picture Pietro in real life? Would *you* date a guy with white hair?  
  
Wanda: I'm twitchy and insane. I'm an excuse!  
  
Kitty and Wanda suddenly become friends for some reason!  
  
Kitty: We have something in common: we both hate Pietro!  
  
Wanda: Yep. Therefore, let us constantly be hanging out at the Brotherhood house near him!  
  
Kitty: Of course. *Being bipolar again.* But secretly I want to be close to him. *Hating again.* I hate myself.  
  
They go to the mansion to hang out!  
  
Kitty: Tra la la la la your house smells like anger!  
  
Wanda: _o What the hell? What does anger smell like?  
  
Kitty: Rogue.   
  
At the Brotherhood of Mutant's house, Pietro annoys them.  
  
Pietro: This is the song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, you'll hate it because this is the song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves-  
  
Wanda: DIE!  
  
Pietro: *Sniffle.* I'm so hurt.  
  
Kitty (runs over to comfort him): Aw it's okay.   
  
Then, just like Ramen soup, it can get overdone and mushy!  
  
Wanda: Aaaaaaaaaaand now I'm leaving. *Leaves.*  
  
Pietro: Mmm, fluff.  
  
Kitty: Yay.  
  
Dragonfire99: Aw, more romantic moments...I HATE KIETROS! DIE YOU MUSHY NON-RAMEN SCUM!  
  
Reader: IT BURNS!  
  
Kitty: Whatever.  
  
Pietro: I just went bipolar as well, because instead of being a player, I'm now suddenly caring and loving.  
  
Dragonfire99: That settles it. All Kietro lovers are bipolar.  
  
Kietro lover (angrily): I AM NOT, ASSHOLE! *Sniffle.* That hurt my feelings. *Perkily.* But I'll bounce back!  
  
Reader: O_o  
  
ANYway, then there is more Kietro fluff, making Lance very jealous of course.  
  
Lance: Grr. I'm so jealous.  
  
And then the story ends.  
  
Dragonfire99: Riiiiiiiight. Okay, well, congratulations Reader, the generic evil that is Kietros is over.  
  
Reader: ...WHY COULDN'T I HAVE JUST DIED!?!  
  
Dragonfire99: Because there is no mercy in the world.  
  
The End  
  
Whee! Shout out time! *Sigh.* I guess I have a lot to make up for since I ignored you when I was pissed...here.  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
Boomkat: On the contrary! I've had a hacking cough for three weeks...you cannot defeat me! I'm quarantined!  
  
Freakish Muffin: Damn those hippies, taking all the pot.  
  
SSJ Tokya: Well, since you seem to rant it so well, I see no point in doing a chapter. Eh, I will anyway, just because...just because.  
  
Cheesy Monkey: Ooh, checkpoints are lemon flavored!   
  
PossesedRoguey: Someone's on a sugar high.  
  
Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: Here's your Kietro! Damn them...  
  
tom: Heh, yes, I will pick on the pathetic Tondas...eventually!  
  
MoonlightPhoenix3: I'm now afraid to disappoint you, you seem so trusting with my ability to make you laugh.  
  
ChaosTheory89: Yea, that's what I'm saying. But when people completely butcher pairings that make sense, then I just hate things. Yea, fun-size is good.  
  
linzer-b: *Muttering.* Damn lazy readers...  
  
Rogue14: That's what this is all about. Making sure these aren't done again...and again...and again...  
  
Andi: Ooh, I like terribly amusing. Yea, the 'I'm angsty' and 'I'm out of character' stuff was inspired by Cheesy Monkey.  
  
One23mad: Since you've seen these so much, you must appreciate this.  
  
SD (Reader #199423): Yes, finally, someone agrees with me. Pietro is clearly gay. Yes, way to steer me away by putting Wanda in your review. I'm going to take a wild guess and say Wanda/Pyro. Either way, every pairing (and by every pairing, I don't mean every sick thing Storm-Pietro can come up with) will be spoofed.  
  
Flame31: Exactly, it's all about how they are portrayed! I burned a Justin Timberlake poster in my sink.  
  
Chapter 5:  
  
lildaisygirl24: To get a complete definition of a Mary Sue, look for the missing chapter in Cheesey Monkey's bio.  
  
Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: Ooh! I despise many things!  
  
SSJ Tokya: What are you saying? That Remy is a prostitute?!? Well, one never knows... Exactly, Rogue has MUCH better taste, like Remy! *Cackle.* Yay, a stoning partner! Yea, you would think a telepath like the professor would know not to put an angry person who needs space (Rogue) with a perky and sometimes annoying person (Kitty). Wow, Amyros are in demand now...  
  
A.M.bookworm247: The reason I update so fast is because I can't get out of the house. Yep, you finally did it. My head can't fit through the door. *Nods.*   
  
Andi: Yea, everyone loves my connection between Scogues and instant pudding. And yep, gotta live up to my nicknames.  
  
Roguechere: Priceless? Wrong! I'll sell it to you for twenty dollars!  
  
Hizzy: I don't read slash, so I wouldn't know what to do, but it was the same with Lancitty, Kietro, Scogue, and Kurtty, I forced myself to read them so I would know how to make fun of them. *Sigh.* The things I do...  
  
Flame31: It's not even work! It takes twenty minutes per chapter tops!  
  
Murderee: Heh, yes, follow me my minion! *Cackle.*  
  
Cheesy Monkey: Hm, you like Jean's 'Help I'm getting bashed!' line, eh? I find hillbillies terribly amusing. What are cargo pants?  
  
Rogue14: Rolling on the floor, eh? Wow, I've been saying 'eh' a lot today. No, I'm not Canadian.  
  
ChaosCat: Ooh, I rock??? *Grabs violin and begins slamming it like guitar.* *Sings angrily.* Yea!!!  
  
ChaosTheory89: Six points? How many do I need to win?  
  
PossesedRoguey: I'm haunted by a crying cheerleader...long story. Which I wrote down! E-mail me if you want the story about that!  
  
Boomkat: Wow, I hoped everyone would love my pudding analogy!  
  
Storm-Pietro: Mini-Pietro? Technically, couldn't he be called 'Pint Sized Pietro?' And if so, does that make him a good match for Kitty (aka Half-pint)? *Thinks for a second.* No, that pairing still makes no sense.  
  
Lyranfan: Yay, reality checks are fun.  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: Lol, when I read "oh no they didn't!" I pictured this one black girl from my school waving her finger and giving attitude. She always does that. Not meant to offend anyone, but that was a funny image.  
  
CherryShadowZ: I just read your review before I uploaded, lucky late person you! Damn I feel loved...  
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


	7. Two Lesser Spoofables

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: Evolution. I wish I did. I don't own this parody. I do? Shit...  
  
Stereotypes of FF.Net  
  
Chapter 7- Two Lesser Spoofables  
  
Okay. Today, I'm going to put two short, less frequent stereotypes. Don't worry, I'm not running out of ideas, just finishing up the pattern. Spoofables is a new word I made up. It's a fic you can spoof. :D  
  
The Typical Rovan  
  
The typical Rovan begins with...wait, this is so infrequent, you may not know what it is. It's a Rogue and Evan pairing. Yea, isn't it weird? I bet Storm-Pietro started it. *Looks around suspiciously.* Whatever.  
  
ANYway, the typical Rovan begins with Rogue liking Evan because she is a goth girl and he is a skater boy.  
  
Dragonfire99: Just because goth girls and skater boys get together usually in real life, doesn't mean it will happen in Evo.  
  
Evan: I'm a sk8r boi!  
  
Dragonfire99: Say that again and you will die. I can do that. You are a skater boy. Say it.  
  
Evan: Fine! *Sigh.* I am a skater boy.  
  
Dragonfire99: Good.   
  
Rogue: I like him because of said reason.  
  
Evan: Even though I'm African American and she's sickly pale, we don't seem to notice!  
  
Dragonfire99: I don't know about you, but I have enough problems with my own race. Damn white boys! Ha! I can say that because I'm white! Shut up you white trash! Ha ha ha!  
  
Reader: Must you get into this? Tomorrow you have the day off from school because of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  
  
Dragonfire99: Really? How ironic. *Looks at calendar.* Wow! I do! Whaddaya know...  
  
ANYWAY, then the generic plotline returns.  
  
Reader: AH!  
  
Evan: I'm suddenly being friendly to you. Hello friend!  
  
Rogue: Damn you're hot- I mean, go away. I hate everyone.  
  
Evan: Of course you do. *Hugs her.*  
  
Rogue: I love you!  
  
And the fluff enters, and it becomes more annoying, and it ends.  
  
Dragonfire99: Eh, what the hell.  
  
Suddenly, Evan is hit by a meteor.  
  
Dragonfire99: Told you I could. *Sticks tongue out in immature way.*  
  
  
  
The End  
  
Second pairing minority!  
  
The Typical Kiotr  
  
The typical Kiotr begins with Kitty fighting with Lance.  
  
Lance: I'm suddenly ignorant, rude, and selfish! Grr I'm so mean.  
  
Kitty: You suck! I'm going to run into a large Russian's arms!  
  
Kitty meets up with Piotr somehow.  
  
Piotr: I'm so large and gentle.  
  
Kitty: That sounds so dirty.  
  
Reader: IMAGES!  
  
Dragonfire99: Get your minds out of the gutter! All of you! *Wave of people bursts out of gutter.* Um...okay then.  
  
Piotr: This pairing actually makes sense!  
  
Kitty: Finally! And of course, since it actually makes sense, it's uncommon!  
  
Reader: I hate my life.  
  
Well, now Kitty and Piotr are dating. Aw, he's so nice.  
  
Kitty: *Sigh.* That Russian boy gets no respect...except from me! *Hugs him.*  
  
Dragonfire99: Aw, cute Kiotr fluff.  
  
Reader: Great.  
  
Dragonfire99: I support Kiotr. Just so you know.  
  
The End  
  
Shout outs!  
  
MoonlightPhoenix3: Here's your Kiotr! Hm, so let me get this straight, or rather, not straight. You're falling in love with my reader, who acts just like you're best FEMALE friend. Okay. You do realize how that sounds, right? I'm not saying anything else. Lol, j/k. Look, I managed to get in your favorite saying: "That Russian boy gets no respect!" I know, I'm wonderful.   
  
the tiny one: *Laughs.* Yea, I hate all of these except Romy and Kiotr. I will do a Jott, just to torment them. Heh, yea, everyone likes my 'Rogue smells like anger' line.  
  
Hizzy: Wow you really are a bipolar Kietro lover? Oh my gosh I was actually right about my stereotypes!  
  
SSJ Tokya: Yea, why DO they make Lance 'pussyfied.' LOL! Kitty could abuse him! Pietro IS special. Especially gay. Yes! You like my anger-scented Rogue line too!  
  
Rogue14: Yea, that's what they all say. *Wink.*  
  
Taineyah: Yay! A new victim- I mean, reviewer.  
  
Murderee: This is the only good Kietro? Wow. Here's your Kiotr!  
  
Freakish Muffin: Yea, they shame the Ramen! I think the tingling you're referring to is sickness...die hippies!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: I know! Isn't that the funniest damn image?  
  
Boomkat: Yea, Pietro is gay too, so it would never work anyway.  
  
Flame31: Welcome to my world! I got caught once when she smelled it (I burned it when she wasn't h and then said the same thing. Is being a pyro so wrong? I tell you, I'm going to encourage my kids to burn things, especially Justin Timberlake.  
  
Cheesy Monkey: Yea, the "Rich Girls" are just a couple of retards. I never met a hillbilly either, but I do a wicked impression of one too.  
  
Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: I agree. I see themes too. You actually like Todd and Wanda? You should write a fic for it yourself. I'll read it. *Cackle.*  
  
Andi: Wow, the same lines are favorites among people. Everyone likes the anger-scented Rogue, die mushy non-Ramen scum, and my other food analogies. I feel so special.  
  
Kage-rogot-of-darkness: No! I love it when people suggest things to give me idea, otherwise I would lose track! In fact, could everyone make me a list of ones to do?  
  
Ellen: Lol! Romanians!  
  
The Rogue Witch: I think I'm bipolar too. One day I'm all angsty, then the next I'm all happy. It scares people.  
  
StormHeart: Yes I got those yesterday. Wow, what a high delivery charge that must have been. Thank you for those. Haha, interesting perception of slashes. I agree. Well, actually, I think Pietro is a little...iffy.  
  
roguehobbit: Yea, Scott and Jean deserve each other. I totally agree! Pietro is clearly bi or gay!  
  
Steven P. P: Ooh, I'm classical now? *Picks up her violin and plays Swan Lake theme.*  
  
CherryShadowZ: Ew, I got an F in algebra. Ah! So pointless! Of course I'm making more! What do you think this is?  
  
Storm-Pietro: Damn you scare me. Not in the 'ah please don't hurt me' way, in the 'what a psycho' way. But I still like you. Yea.  
  
PossesedRoguey: I knew this would make you feel better! Damn lazy Californian! Review faster! Drown in your water polo pool, kiss a jock, and DIE!  
  
Hehe! Well, until next time! Remember, you gotta be fast if you want a shout out!  
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


	8. The Typical Jott

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: Evolution. Please tell me I don't own this. Please. No...NO! Phew. I had a terrible dream that I wrote a Jott. Oh no... I DID!  
  
Stereotypes of FF.Net  
  
Chapter 8- The Typical Jott  
  
The typical Jott begins with Scott and Jean being perfect, as usual.  
  
Jean: *Sigh.* I'm so perfect. I have a perfect life. I have a perfect boyfriend. Everything's just so perfect.  
  
Scott: Jean's so perfect. I'm such good boy.  
  
Jean pats him on the head.  
  
Jean: That you are.  
  
But for some reason, a petty problem is magically bestowed upon their relationship by the writer.  
  
Jott Writer: Everyone will surely love this because Scott and Jean are both so perfect.  
  
Dragonfire99: What the hell is this? What kind of asshole likes Jean, let alone the two of them!  
  
Scott: La la la la la life's so perfect.  
  
Jean: Mhmm.  
  
Scott: But...for some reason, I'm troubled.  
  
Jean: *Gasp.* You can't be! Everything's perfect!  
  
Scott: But I got a B on my math test!  
  
Jean: *Gasp.* You got a B?!? *Shuns him.* YOU ARE NOT WORTHY!  
  
Scott: No master! Please forgive me!  
  
Jean: Punish yourself, my slave!  
  
Scott: *Bowing.* Yes, master. *Jumps over cliff that just happen to be around.*  
  
An hour later, Scott is seen dragging himself back up the mysterious hill by one arm, as the rest of him is in a body cast.  
  
Jean, who of course, hasn't moved in the past hour greets him.   
  
Jean: Excellent my minion! Now I must punish myself for being around someone so imperfect.  
  
Jean uses her telepathy to rise in the air a good thirty feet, then drops.  
  
Scott: Wait! I was around you again while you were imperfect! I must punish myself again! And now that I'm imperfect, you're imperfect again!  
  
And they continue this cycle until one of them dies. Fortunately, it is Scott who dies, because Jean needs live so we can bash her.  
  
Dragonfire99: Yes! I killed Scott!  
  
Jean: ...Oh dear. Poor Scott. Oh well, time to run off to my generic American football player like the little slut I am.   
  
Jean then runs into Duncan's arms.  
  
Duncan: Der...  
  
Jean: I...*Wistful.* I like you too. But...Scott is the only one for me!  
  
Suddenly, Scott drags himself up the hill over the horizon.  
  
Jean: *Gasp.* Scott! My one true love! *Drops Duncan like sack of manure.*  
  
Scott: I love you. Marry me, and we shall live happily ever after, because we're so-  
  
Jean: *Finishing his sentence.* ...perfect.  
  
Then warm embraces, cute little fluffy bits of rainbows and happy.  
  
Scott: Songfic time!  
  
Jean: Yay!  
  
Jott Writer: This is Daniel Bedingfield's "If You're Not the One." I'm sure you'll read the words, even if you've never heard the song, and I haven't changed it at all. :D :D :D  
  
Scott:   
  
~If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?  
  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?  
  
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call  
  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all  
  
I never know what the future brings   
  
But I know you are here with me now  
  
We'll make it through   
  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
  
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?  
  
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?  
  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?  
  
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?  
  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?  
  
I don't know why you're so far away   
  
But I know that this much is true  
  
We'll make it through   
  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
  
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with  
  
I hope I love you all my life  
  
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?  
  
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away  
  
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today  
  
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right  
  
And though I can't be with you tonight  
  
And know my heart is by your side  
  
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am  
  
Is there any way that I can say  
  
You're mine~  
  
Jean: *Sniff.* Oh Scottie, that was *sniff* so beautiful.  
  
Dragonfire99: Okay, stereotyping is over. Time for my story now.  
  
Suddenly Rogue appeared and killed Jean. Then Remy blew Scott up and this became a Romy, because Romys rock. Then Kitty and Piotr appeared as a side story, because they are the second best pairing.  
  
Dragonfire99: By the way, during this whole thing, Reader didn't make a single appearance.  
  
Reader: Here I am.  
  
Dragonfire99: Where were you?  
  
Reader: Ha! Like I would read a Jott. I only came now because it's a Romy (with Kiotr side story)!  
  
Dragonfire99: Surely there's SOMEONE who could have been a reader for the Jott?  
  
Reader: Nope. Nobody reads Jotts.   
  
Dragonfire99: Why am I not surprised?  
  
The End :D :D :D  
  
Whoo hoo! This is finally over. It was annoying just writing it. Shout outs! Ugh, I wrote ALL the shout outs, then it didn't save. This is a do-over, and I'm angered.  
  
The tiny one: Yea! Russians are the coolest! I will never do a fic involving the adults, just so everyone knows. I don't know why, they just bore me, and annoy me.  
  
Roguechere: I bet Storm-Pietro DID start it! Seriously, Rovan is just wrong, like Kietro or Rietro, it just shouldn't happen.  
  
Murderee: Look at the tiny one's response for yours. I'm just that lazy.  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: At the bottom, you'll see we have another flamer! *Chuckles at pun.*  
  
SSJ Tokya: As usual, I am amazed by your lengthy review. I won't do a Lance/Rogue, because they're so infrequent that they don't even have a combo name. Making Lance all abusive to Kitty is really stupid. Kitty could abuse him.  
  
Cheesy Monkey: Hey, I'm working on three stories at once, give me some time!  
  
Leon, Miko Riniko, and Mistral: You poor, doomed person/people. I'm afraid I have to crush your beloved Tondas for the sake of my fic. My sympathies.  
  
Storm-Pietro: Not only are you calm, you sound quite southern in that review.  
  
Flame31: Finally, someone agrees with my plan for the youth of America.  
  
MoonlightPhoenix3: There's nothing wrong with self-promoting! You should read my story 'Eye to Eye' and my parody 'Bring on the Spandex,' which I'm working on with Cheesy Monkey.  
  
Lildaisygirl24: I don't know why I respond to you one-liners, I suppose it's because you're new, and I feel I need to welcome you. Welcome!  
  
SperryDee: See the tiny one's response for yours. See Murderee's for a response to this.  
  
Freakish Muffin: Here's your Jott! *Ducks for cover from noodle tsunami.*  
  
Roguehobbit: Hun? Everyone on this site is a freak. :D  
  
CherryShadowZ: No wonder you didn't review chapter four! *Glare.*  
  
Kage-robot-of-darkness: I'm going to do a slash, but not specifically, all slashes are the same XD.  
  
ShnazzySpazzy: A new reviewer! *Hugs you.*  
  
Taineyah: See the tiny one's response for yours. See Sperry Dee's response too, just for kicks.  
  
Here is another flame I got. Please read it, as I gave a cool comeback.  
  
ClicheKitten says my fic "has it's moments, but overall it's a cliche bashing fic."  
  
To ClicheKitten: At least you have the guts to give a signed review, unlike a certain other flamer...bet you didn't expect, though, that when you put that flame near me, I grabbed a can of hairspray and blew it in your face.  
  
Wow that sounded so cool.  
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


	9. The Typical Tonda

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the plot, which I don't want. In fact, if you want it, take it, I'm just going to leave it in the snow.  
  
Stereotypes of FF.Net  
  
Chapter 9- The Typical Tonda  
  
The typical Tonda begins with Wanda hating Toad because he's disgusting.  
  
Toad: I'm a slob!  
  
Fred: Blob?  
  
Toad: SLOB.  
  
Fred: Oh.  
  
Wanda: Toad disgusts me. I'm angsty.  
  
Rogue: Hey! Angst is my department! *Bitchslaps her.*  
  
Wanda: Oh no you didn't! *Bitchslaps back.*  
  
Toad: Hello? Aren't you going to be disgusted by my toad-like habits?  
  
Wanda: Oh yea. *Ahem.* Disgusting creature!   
  
Wanda throws hexbolts at Toad as he bounds away from rejection yet again.  
  
Tonda Writer: Since she threw hexbolts at him once or twice in the series, I have to make her do it constantly in my fic!  
  
Toad is feeling bad, and really wants to change for good!  
  
Toad: Time to do a complete personality-wise and physical makeover!  
  
Tonda Writer: ...Ta da!  
  
A new Todd emerges, clean, polite, and suddenly attractive.  
  
Reader: Yea right.  
  
Wanda: Gasp! I automatically like him, but...*shifty eyes* no one can know.  
  
Kitty: HEY! Bipolarity is my department! *Bitchslaps her.*  
  
Wanda: Oh, you gonna play me like that? *Bitchslaps her back.*  
  
Pietro: I somehow get them to hook up, most likely by a dare or bet! Hey Wanda? Hello? Hellohellohellohellohellohellohellohello-  
  
Wanda: SHUT UP!  
  
Todd: Snookums? Sweetcakes? Sweetums? Honey? Dear? Sweetie? Sweetheart?   
  
Tonda Writer: Another scenario where they gave me an inch, I took a mile.  
  
Wanda: *Sweetly.* I'll go out with you.  
  
Todd: Really?  
  
Wanda: Ew no way.  
  
Tonda Writer: *Glares at her.*  
  
Wanda: But he's still a loser! Ugh. *Grumble.* Yes, I really mean it Todd. *Rolls eyes.*  
  
Todd: YAY! My life goal has been met!  
  
Later, Todd and Wanda go out on their first date together.  
  
Tonda Shipper: And hopefully not last!  
  
Tonda Writer: Hmm, I'll have to think about that.  
  
Dragonfire99: Uh huh.  
  
Near the end of their date-  
  
Tonda Shipper: *Squeal!*  
  
-Wanda realizes that deep down, she loves Todd, despite his less than perfect looks.  
  
Wanda: *Sigh.* Todd, there's something I want to tell you.  
  
Toad: Yes, Snookums?  
  
Wanda: I love you.  
  
Toad: *is all glassy eyed* I love you too!  
  
Fluff, making out, yadda yadda...  
  
Pietro: Damn! I lost the bet!  
  
Wanda: But I don't care, keep your money, I got what I wanted. :D :D :D  
  
Reader: AHH! SO CHEESY!  
  
Dragonfire99: Speaking of cheesy, read the story Cheesy Monkey and I wrote together, 'Bring on the Spandex!'  
  
Reader: Self promoting again?  
  
Dragonfire99: *Dips head.* Uh huh.  
  
Pietro: At least I'm still fast.  
  
Cheerleaders: Like us! (In the double meaning term *wink wink.*)  
  
Rogue: *Runs up.* I knew I smelled prep! *Beats them down.*  
  
Dragonfire99: Hahaha! I change my mind! I love this plot!  
  
Kitty and Rogue phase through the floor and knock out Wanda, then Piotr picks up Toad and tosses him to Remy, who blows him up.  
  
Rogue: There's only room for one angsty goth in this show.  
  
Kitty: And one bipolar girl!  
  
Dragonfire99: Whoo hoo! Romy and Kiotr all the way!  
  
Reader: 'All the way?' Double meaning!  
  
Dragonfire99: Damn, I knew that would be used against me eventually.  
  
Heh, another chapter, more reviews to bump up my ego. Shout outs!  
  
SperryDee: Lol! I use song to express my feelings all the time, like when my arch nemesis (a popular super-preppy punk poser) had to go to the hospital, I was singing, "Ding Dong, the Bitch is Dead!" The OC stories won't be for a while, but stay tuned!  
  
the tiny one: Yea, I literally squeezed the Jott bashing juice out of that fic like a fruit! In fact, I made Jottbash-ade out of it! Want some?  
  
Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: Mwahahahaha! I can do whatever I want, because I am the author! Bwahahahahahaha!  
  
Aqueous: It's true! Even I did it, I had to edit the first chapter of my fic 'Eye to Eye' because I did that!  
  
Danfred: Unfortunately for mild Kiotr shippers like us, there aren't many Kiotrs around, I haven't seen any.  
  
Freakish Muffin: *Is trying to say 'best bashes' ten times fast.* Ahh! Damn it! Here's your Tonda!  
  
PossesedRoguey: If you're not going to tell me how much you love the parody, don't even review! .  
  
CrypticIdentity: Wow, a guy reviewer! Who's funny! Keep it funny does sound weird, but in a not-that-wierd way...yea...I'm not making sense...anyway *puts you up on pedestal and smirks at fangirls* look what I got! Anyway, now that I'm done sounding psychotic, I LOVE FLAME-THROWERS! Wow, that wasn't much of an improvement...whatever.  
  
The Rogue Witch: WHY THE HELL WERE YOU READING A JOTT? *Shudders.*  
  
Rogue14: I hope you got the cheerleader story I sent you! Otherwise I'm going to kill AOL!  
  
Storm-Pietro: ...I'm assuming you like it, with the exclamations and all.  
  
SSJ Tokya: Lol! I just got a mental picture of that whole "bitch, that's my baby's daddy" thing and it was really funny. Wow, you're impressed!  
  
felinefire82: *Kicks taser out of your hand.* *Twitch.* *Hair is all fizzed out.*  
  
roguehobbit: MWAHAHA! JEAN BASHING GALORE!  
  
Murderee: Snore alert! XD Don't ask, for some reason that just amused me.  
  
ChaosTheory89: *Glaring at you.* Must...kill...Jott fans...  
  
MoonlightPhoenix3: Mwahahaha...my subliminal messages/self-promoting is working! Bwahahaha...  
  
Cheesy Monkey: O_o Wow, what a tongue lashing...fortunately though, she did redeem herself, if everyone will direct their attention to her review to chapter one, but whatever, you tried. Tee hee, cargo pants.  
  
CherryShadowZ: Grr you didn't review only because you like that pairing! *Is ranting.* *People walk away.*  
  
Peace215: Kitty and Remy? That's just absurd! Think of what Rogue would do to poor Kitty!  
  
StormHeart: Heh heh, yea, this was easy because Scott and Jean suck.  
  
Andi: I like that little face ^-^ it's very cute, and it comforts me knowing not all my reviewers are HIDEOUS like POSSESED ROGUEY! Lol, PR, you know I'm just messing with you.  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: You're a Pyro fan, eh? I'm afraid I may soon do a Jonda...  
  
A.M.bookworm247: *Shiver.* You have no idea how difficult it is to write these things, I mean, it's just torture, you better appreciate it! All of you!  
  
Well, that be it, folks. Until next time! Ooh, a preview!  
  
Rogue slipped on the pink dress.  
  
Rogue: I hate mah life.  
  
Mwahaha! I bet you're all wonder how that's going to fit into my story! Well so am I!  
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


	10. The Typical Mary Sue

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men: Evolution. I don't even want this extremely demented parody (except the Romy and Kiotr XD). I love the XD face, who did I steal that from, SSJ Tokya? Oh yea, hope you understand my whole 'bitterness toward cheerleaders' thing now. ^-^ (Cute face stolen from Andi.)  
  
Author's Note: Yayness (stolen from Storm-Pietro XD)! To celebrate 200 reviews for this parody (sets off firecracker of some sort) I'll do...A MARY-SUE! *Collective groan.* (Collective groan stolen from Ishandahalf). Why is this so special? Because it has the most reviews of any other parody on the site (yes I have nothing better to do than check and make sure that's a fact)!!! So here it is, the typical Mary-Sue. (For a complete collection, read Cheesy Monkey's story, 'Evil Mary Sue Spawn.') More promoting! XD  
  
  
  
Stereotypes of FF.Net  
  
Chapter 10- The Typical Mary Sue   
  
The typical Mary Sue begins with (why do all my stories start out like this) (that line stolen from Cheesy Monkey) an "original character" entering into the X-Men: Evolution universe. (The idea of stealing instead of borrowing also stolen from Cheesy.)  
  
This "Original Character" also known as an OC, is enrolled in Xaviers school for the gifted.   
  
Dragonfire99: "Gifted." Tee hee. It sounds like-  
  
Reader: Tee hee! Yea.  
  
Mary Sue Writer: Now I shall describe them down to the last detail, from the exact color of their eyes to the color they painted their nails!  
  
This OC is of course, beautiful, because the writer is attempting to recreate themselves. The OC is also very talented and smart. They possess the greatest power of any of the other X-men.  
  
X-Men: We marvel at your superiority.  
  
Dragonfire99: Tee hee. Marvel.  
  
Reader: Dragonfire99, that is your worst pun yet. *Muttering.* Marvel...  
  
Unfortunately, the OC has a horrific past, where *it* was abused, mistreated, neglected, bullied, molested, raped, or treated like crap by people when *it* discovered *it's* powers.  
  
The amazing OC quickly makes friends with/falls in love with the writers favorite character.  
  
Mary Sue Writer: Well, I'll make my "character" best friends with Rogue because Rogue is my favorite character!  
  
OC: Hello Rogue I am a goth just like you why don't we be friends?  
  
Rogue: Since I obviously have nothing better to do than hang out with you, sure!  
  
Kitty: Hey, I thought I was- *dissappears.*  
  
Rogue: Where did she go?  
  
OC: Erm...she slipped through the ground...and straight to hell mwa ha ha ha!  
  
Rogue: O_o  
  
OC: *blink* I mean, she must have been late to meet Lance...or perhaps HER DEMISE!!! *Cackle.*  
  
Rogue: ...riiiiiight.  
  
Well anyway, then Rogue and OC have a good old time palling around, when suddenly...  
  
Remy: Hey chere.  
  
Pyro: Hey sexy OC.  
  
Mary Sue Writer: Tee hee, since Romy is my favorite couple, I'll put that in, and since St. John is the second hottest guy on the show, I must make him friends with Remy, so we-*they*- can double date.  
  
YOU SUPPORT ROMY. YOU SUPPORT ROMY. YOU SUPPORT ROMY. CAJUN IS GOOD. YOU SUPPORT ROMY.  
  
Reader: Are you delivering subliminal messages?!?!?  
  
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE IS. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE IS.  
  
...Anyway, then, creative *things* these Mary Sue writers are, they put in a plot twist.  
  
Plot: *twisted* OWWW!!!  
  
OC: *Sigh.* Rogue is so unhappy with her life. She can't touch AND she is an antisocial goth.  
  
Goth Girl Reader *coughpossesedrogueycough*: I'm not antisocial!!!  
  
OC: I must repair her life!  
  
The ingenious OC decides to give Rogue a makeover and get her out of her goth lifestyle.  
  
OC: C'mon Rogue! Change into this! It will make you feel pretty! *Holds up pink dress.*  
  
Rogue slipped on the pink dress.  
  
Rogue: Ah hate mah life.  
  
The magic of the dress fixes her traumas and power-control problems.  
  
Rogue: *smiling freakishly* Ah'm so HAPPY!  
  
Dragonfire99: Happy? As in gay? Tee hee!  
  
Reader: Just when I thought you couldn't get any more immature.  
  
Anyway, then all is well, and the Evil Mary Sue is over.  
  
But everything works out in the end. :D  
  
FrickinEvilPoptart *out of nowhere*: Go Duncan! Go stereotypical jerky bigot jocks-turned-construction workers who still wear their letterman jackets even after graduating to relive the 'glory days'!(I LOVE that!)  
  
The End :D (THANK GOODNESS!!!!)  
  
Yay! I feel so special now...here are your reviews all you lovely readers! Damn Mary Sue writers! Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only four to extend your arm and bitchslap them up the head! (Quote stolen from Danfred.)  
  
the tiny one: Jottbash-ade has a refreshing, fruity flavor! I like Wanda. That said, SSJ Tokya, you can put the gun down now...Anyway, Jottbash-ade is fruitier than...Scott!  
  
Spikey the Neon BlowFish: Aw, I'll flame you if you really want one! I can't get too close to the poster either, that's what the flamethrower is for! Don't worry, no one will harm you for writing a Jott...*Shifty eyes.*  
  
Goldylokz: Whoo hoo! Shameless plugs ahoy!!!  
  
Dark Jaded Rose: Yes! Sexy Cajuns all the way!  
  
Boomkat: That's why Rovan is a "Lesser Spoofable," because it's not quite as common as the others in this parody. I completely agree- there is definitely more than one black family in New York, they didn't have to make Evan Storm's nephew. I would think Kiotr is more popular too, but apparently, it isn't.   
  
Andi: *Whispering.* Do not speak ill of the cheerleaders...SSJ Tokya may be listening...I'm glad you like the randomness! Are you a guy reviewer? Cryptic Identity is getting lonely on his pedestal. I ask because Andi might be a girl name to, like in our school we have a girl named Alex, and yes she is obviously a girl, she's a cheerleader and everything (and she wore a mini-skirt today, which disturbed me while she was telling me she hates me, it was all frayed and everything *shudder*).   
  
MoonlightPhoenix3: Spoofables is like the best word, isn't it? I made it up. ^-^  
  
Danfred: Yes! Do give me those URLs! I just love your quote about muscles and what not, really I do.  
  
SperryDee: Wanda+Kurt=WART! (Stolen from Qindarka).  
  
YoungFlower: When I see your penname, I picture this delicate fairy-like girl...whatever, anyway, here's your evil OC story!  
  
rolofreak1990: I don't write about the adults, they bore me, no offense.  
  
Mrs. Jean Grey-Summers: *Sticks out tongue back.* Wow, someone who likes Jean AND Rogue! You're very unique!  
  
Lyranfan: Slash is soon to come...mwa ha ha...  
  
Freakish Muffin: Do those Cheeze-Itz seem unusally powdery? That may be why they are so amusing...*Bitchslaps you twice.*  
  
FrickinEvilPoptart: You amuse me. DANCE MIDGET! DANCE! (Stolen from Freakish Muffin.)  
  
Rogue14: I can't tell you how many people have said they want to come to my school and kick Ryan's ass. And Mr. Coon is kinda incompetant, but, hey, at least he tries! More shameless plugs I see? You learned from the master (moi)!  
  
Monkey Head: I hope this tickled you too, with all the shameless plugs and what not. Yea! Jersey girls! I'm a Jersey girl. :D  
  
Kage-Robot-Of-Darkness: *Pictures you singing that song.* *Hears gunshot.* *Looks behind her to find SSJ Tokya holding her gun behind her back.* NO! Kagey! *Holds up your lifeless body.* WHY!!!  
  
SSJ Tokya: Ahh, we meet again. Gee, why do I get the feeling you hate Amyro? I hope we got past all the "DragonFire99 is a hipocrite because she hates cheerleaders because of who they are blah blah blah" thing. Hey! Rogue does NOT suck! Grr...I've never heard you rant about Tabitro though, but that may actually make sense!  
  
Murderee: Snore alert! Whoo hoo! *Hands you glass of bright red fluid.* Here's some Jottbash-ade. It's fruity, like Scott.  
  
Leon, Miko, Riniko, Mistral: *Muttering.* Pink is evil...  
  
Cheesy Monkey: *Pulls can out of a large pocket on your cargo pants.* No can of ass, huh???  
  
CherryShadowZ: *Plays tug of war with you over the plot.* HEY! I SAID I WANTED IT AFTER JEAN AND SCOTT DIED! Lol.  
  
Qindarka: Oh yea, I TOTALLY feel special. Tee hee, Wart...  
  
A.M.bookworm247: Ah, my little kiss up...lol, just kidding. Anyway, you never answered my question, are you really eleven and going into high school? O_o  
  
Boomkat: *Gasp.* *Phew.* Oh, for a second there I thought you were flaming me! It's good to see people have finally learned not to flame me. *Dragonfire99 is see holding up a can of hairspray with all reviewers behind her holding stones.* Yea, Jott definitely equals NOT INTERESTING!   
  
silhouette-Kitten: What's an internet cafe? I'm glad you can appreciate this, it's what it's all about.  
  
A Pyro's Rage: Lol, glad you like it. Burning things is fun...  
  
Cryptic Identity: I think the word hilarious has been used 20 times in my review box, don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you.  
  
PHEW! So many reviews! :D :D :D With all of this shameless plugging and stealing, I finally have an original quote: "What in the name of the American Atheists???"  
  
~Dragonfire99~ 


End file.
